wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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