i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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