Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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