If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Randomize
