I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
We need to get me chipped asap
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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