I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
