In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
