i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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