I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
