Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I've blown a few things in my day
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
