I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
