I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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