My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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