So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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