The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
love makes seman taste better
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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