Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
