i need an iv and a liver transplant
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
