Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
