well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize