help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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