she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
