Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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