I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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