did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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