I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
