He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
