my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
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