Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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