it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
