too bad you live with your parents still
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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