well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
