and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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