I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
