my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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