she woke up with a sticky ear
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
i think i just lost a toe
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
