He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Dicks are not precious.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
