dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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