A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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