so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
