I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
