even my farts smell like vagina
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
