She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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