i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
