the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
