You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
