Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
