I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
