so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
