he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Do vagina's smell?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
