You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
