I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I just found puke in my bra..
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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