I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
