You made me cry and you don't even care
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
