ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
