it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
