One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
