yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
