It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
