is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
