check it out our google latitudes are spooning
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
