It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
